The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT ~ Alfred Brendel
Listening is an active process and it helps build strong personal relationships.
L – Look (make eye contact)
I – Ignore distractions
S – Summarise (give feedback)
T – Take notes
E – Exercise emotional control
N – Attend to non-verbal communication (nod)
If affection and respect are offered and earned, communication is more successful.
YOU ARE LISTENING TO ME WHEN:
- You come quietly into my private world and let me be;
- You really try to understand me even if I’m not making any sense;
- You grasp my point even when it’s against your own sincere convictions;
- You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you think they might be wrong;
- You do not take my problem from me, but allow me to deal with it in my own way;
- You hold back your desire to give me good advice;
- You give me enough room to discover for myself what is going on;
- You accept my gift of gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know you have been helpful.
YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME WHEN:
- You say you understand me before you know me well enough;
- You have an answer to my problems before I’ve finished telling you what my problem is;
- You cut me off before I’ve finished speaking;
- You finish my sentences for me;
- You feel critical of my vocabulary, grammar and accent.
- You are dying to tell me something;
- You tell me about your experiences making mine seem unimportant;
- You are communicating with someone else in the room;
- You refuse my thanks by saying you haven’t really done anything.
~ Author unknown