I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME BUT ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT ~ Alfred Brendel

Listening is an active process and it helps build strong personal relationships.

L  –   Look (make eye contact)

I    –   Ignore distractions

S  –   Summarise (give feedback)

–   Take notes

E  –   Exercise emotional control

N  –   Attend to non-verbal communication (nod)

If affection and respect are offered and earned, communication is more successful.

YOU ARE LISTENING TO ME WHEN:

  • You come quietly into my private world and let me be;
  • You really try to understand me even if I’m not making any sense;
  • You grasp my point even when it’s against your own sincere convictions;
  • You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you think they might be wrong;
  • You do not take my problem from me, but allow me to deal with it in my own way;
  • You hold back your desire to give me good advice;
  • You give me enough room to discover for myself what is going on;
  • You accept my gift of gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know you have been helpful.

YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME WHEN:

  • You say you understand me before you know me well enough;
  • You have an answer to my problems before I’ve finished telling you what my problem is;
  • You cut me off before I’ve finished speaking;
  • You finish my sentences for me;
  • You feel critical of my vocabulary, grammar and accent.
  • You are dying to tell me something;
  • You tell me about your experiences making mine seem unimportant;
  • You are communicating with someone else in the room;
  • You refuse my thanks by saying you haven’t really done anything.

~ Author unknown